The fantastic adventures

So here it goes

2005-09-28T23:22:47Z

Holy cow school can be frustrating at times. I do not get why my suite mates cannot seem to get along. Well actually thats not correct, Karen refuses to get along with Cathy and it's making it really frustrating. Not that I'm really involved I feel bad hearing about it just because I see Cathy trying so hard to be respectful of Karen and I think she's done a good job it's just to the point were Karen doesn't care. It's hard too because I like both of them, Karens fun and Cathy has been nothing but nice to me. Ahh what ever their gonna have to figure that out eventually.

Anyways I had my first swim practice today and man does that hurt, I am so not in shape for swimming yet. It's seems cool though lot of fresh man on the team, kinda makes me feel old but they seem nice. New coach this year...kinda strange to have someone different but she's nice.

I don't want to do homework yet but I have a test I should study for. Good day though.

School

2005-09-06T22:51:38Z

I know it's been a long time since i have written in here but I'm bored and I keep thinking so i figure why not post some thoughts. Schools okay, I like my classes, they're actually really interesting I just don't know how I feel about school. I'm just not into it this year. I left on a really good note at the end of the spring but after all the emotions over summer it's still really hard to pick up again. I know I need to do a few things to get myself back on track but I'm unmotivated to do it. I know I need to get a cousilor that I can talk to here while I'm at school and I need to talk to my doctor about what I'mon right now. I don't like how the lexapro is working, I don't feel happy like I want to. I think I liked how I felt more when I was on the paxil more than this, it wasn't perfect but I still felt better than I do now. I don't know I just feel kinda empty and I don't want to anymore.

What the hell happened to me

2005-01-09T06:16:47Z

Blahhh I'm so freakin bored with myself, I'm to the point where I don't even feel like getting up in the morning because theres nothing to look forward to here. Part of me really wants to go back to school but then I just feel like the same old shit is going to happen and nothings ever going to chance. Why can't I just be happy and not freaking analyze every single little detail to the point where I am driving myself crazy. I'v barely left my house this break and every time I have I just feel this pressure on my chest and I feel like I can't even do the simplest tasks without panicking. The only time I felt truly content and happy during this break was when becca was here and I got to hang out with my group. I felt comfortable with being home and I was able to enjoy myself and let loose with my friends. Once Becca left I just felt like shit and didn't want to do anything, it really sucks that her parents moved, I hate having them in Boston. I'm just so damn frustrated, I love my boyfriend so much he's great but I hate not being able to see him. It's cool talking on the phone but I feel like my life is such a freaking waste, I feel like a waste of space and I have no idea why the hell he would even want to talk to me because I don't have anything interesting to say anymore. I basically lost all connections with my high school friends and part of me cares but then part of me is to tired to do anything about it. I'm an asshole for thinking that this was going to be my year, I'm already 8 days into it and I feel like I fucked it up royally.

That some hottness

2004-12-29T13:58:47Z

I finally went snowboarding!!! I went to bellayer yesterday with my dad, it was super crowded with people visiting from long island. I would shut my eyes it felt like i was visiting my family in Babylon. It was cool though, I had some really good runs and I didn't bust my ass which is always a plus. Definatly feeling it this morning, my legs and arms are killing me, it's a deep burn...because i did so many. Not really, I was watching anchor man last night and that line popped into my head. I miss all my Marymount friends, I wanna see everyone. It's boring in cornwall.

Happy Christmas!!

2004-12-25T23:14:36Z

So my christmas was pretty awesome today. Woke up around 9ish, lounged around and then opened up presents with the family. I got some pretty good stuff, new snowboard and a ton of polar fleece because in parents mind the world would be perfect if we all wore more fleece. My brother gave me his game cube and bought me a couple of new games for it which is super awesome, totally bringing that back to school with me. I think it will most definatly enhance the quality of life and my school work. The best surprize though was my parents got me an my brother ipods! I totally wasn't expecting one, so that was pretty sweet. I'm really enjoying the pumpkin pie we have here, think i need to go get another piece.

So this has been interesting

2004-12-20T00:27:03Z

Wow the last week has been so stressful and draining, thank goodness it's over. It really sucks sharing a room with someone who hates you. Whole bunch of shit went down with stephanie and it wasn't fun. Kinda wish it never happened, but i guess you can't take back the past now can we? Any way I'm home now for the weekend and then I'm driving back to Marymount tomorow to take my last test. I hope I do well I'v been studying for it all day now I'm going nuts. I saw Becca and Jess today, that was fun hanging out in my kitchen catching up like old times. I really should be studying now but I just can't bring myself to look at these stupid flash cards again.

About that homework

2004-12-08T21:00:26Z

So i finally finished my field placement today!!! Really happy that I'm done but of course on the last day I'm there I get a parking ticket. Figures I get away with parking in a one hour zone for 2 months and then on the last day i get a ticket for going over by 20 minuets. At least I'm done though!!! I need to finish my portfolio tonight, haven't gotten the motivation to do that yet. It's really bad, I'v been watching TV all day. Gotta stop the whole procrastination thing. I could go the gym but I'm kinda tired and don't feel like walking over there. Anyways enough of my rambling.

rainy day tuesdays always get me down

2004-12-07T23:33:55Z

This day blows so far it's all cold and rainy outside and it's putting me in bad mood, not cool. For some reason the ortho evera patch was making me really nauseous all last night and this morning. Whatever there's got to be something positive about today, it is tuesday so that means good tv even if gilmore girls is a repeat. Finally my last field placement day is tomorrow, thank goodness I do not like going there anymore plus I feel kind of like a nuisance when i'm there. Whatever can't wait until thats done so i can actually sleep in on my mornings. So I think I just failed my spanish oral, but whatever I hate that class and I wasn't expecting to do very well on that anyway.

Anyways enough of my rambling, don't really have very much to say.

so this is my first entry

2004-12-06T19:58:51Z

Yeah for me. Mary set me up and yeah thats all i have to say for now